An Interview with a Domestic Violence Survivor in Fort Smith by Sienna Snider

Sienna Snider: Today, we're talking to a brave survivor of domestic violence who wishes to remain anonymous. Thank you for speaking with us. Can you start by telling us a bit about your experience?

Survivor: Thank you for having me. I am a victim of domestic violence. Not only was I raised in a home where I witnessed it, but I also endured 22 years of physical and mental abuse. I’m sharing my story because victims of domestic violence don’t just want protection—they need it. Currently, my order of protection is just a piece of paper because no one will protect us.

Sienna Snider: That sounds incredibly challenging. Why do you think you stayed for 22 years?

Survivor: People often ask why I stayed. As a victim, it's not just the abuse; it's the manipulation, the broken promises, and the rare good times that keep us holding on. Growing up in a home where abuse was normalized made it seem "normal" to me, so I stayed. I believed the lies that it would get better, but it never did.

Sienna Snider: What was the situation like with your ex-husband?

Survivor: My ex-husband isolated me and our daughter. I was forced to cut ties with my family and long-time friends under threat of beatings. He controlled my money, which came from my disability and SSI, refusing to work himself. He’s now trying to get disability for mental issues despite having a master’s degree in computer technologies and spending hours playing games on Twitch.

Sienna Snider: That must have been incredibly difficult. Did you ever try to escape?

Survivor: Yes, once our daughter turned 18, I began planning our escape. After a year and a half of careful planning, I was ready to leave. But on January 26, 2024, my ex-husband held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me. Despite calling the police, we received no protection. The responding officers did not believe me, allowing my ex to escape justice once again.

Sienna Snider: Did you get any help from law enforcement or the court system?

Survivor: No, I never got any protection from law enforcement or the court system. My ex still stalks and harasses me, driving by my current residence almost daily. He posts false information about me on Facebook, leading his friends to harass me. The Fort Smith Police Department, detectives Napier and Marion, and the prosecuting attorney’s office have all failed to protect me and my daughter.

Sienna Snider: Can you share more about your efforts to get protection?

Survivor: I now have an order of protection, but it’s not enforced. My ex continues to harass us, and the police and court system have done nothing to protect us. Despite all the evidence and reports, my ex-husband has never been held accountable for his actions.

Sienna Snider: How has this affected your daughter?

Survivor: My daughter is traumatized by her father. He told his therapist that he had thoughts of raping her when she was 13. He also touched my oldest daughter inappropriately and tried to proposition her at 14. Despite all this, no one has helped or protected us from him.

Sienna Snider: That’s heartbreaking. Why are you sharing your story now?

Survivor: I'm revealing my story to raise awareness and advocate for domestic violence victims. I’ve hidden certain private details to protect my children and family, but people need to know what we go through and how the system fails us.

Sienna Snider: Can you give us a brief timeline of the major incidents?

Survivor:

• Sept 2002: After back surgery, Steven pulled me out of bed because I refused to have sex with him.

• July 3, 2003: Steven punched me in the stomach at 10 weeks pregnant, resulting in a miscarriage.

• Sept 2003: After discovering I was pregnant, Steven bit me, cheated on me, and left for two weeks.

• Jan 1, 2004: Steven assaulted me and left while I was five months pregnant.

• Jan 12, 2004: Order of protection filed against Steven, which he violated shortly after.

• Nov 8, 2008: After emergency back surgery, Steven pulled me out of bed again.

• Jan 22, 2011: Steven assaulted me and threatened to kill me; he spent 53 days in jail.

• May 18, 2011: DHS took Steven's son from our home due to his abuse and neglect.

• April 16, 2016: Steven moved to Arkansas to have a relationship with his first cousin.

• Aug 25, 2016: Steven got an order of protection against his cousin after breaking off their relationship.

• Sept 2018: Steven and I were arrested for shoplifting in Texas.

• March 4, 2024: Judge granted an order of protection valid until Sept 2024.

• May 15, 2024: Steven emailed my boyfriend about me; despite filing a police report, nothing was done.

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Sienna Snider: Thank you for sharing your story. What do you hope will come from sharing it?

Survivor: I hope that by sharing my story, I can raise awareness and advocate for better protection for domestic violence victims. We need a system that truly protects us, enforces orders of protection, and holds abusers accountable. When will it be enough? When do I get justice and protection?

Sienna Snider: Thank you for your courage and for speaking out. We hope your story will bring about change and better protection for all victims of domestic violence.